Do all of yourselves a favor and check out the premiere of the fourth season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia tonight at 10pm EST on FX.  You will not be disappointed.

Official It’s Always Sunny Website

RAMBLINGS FROM THE WEEK

How could I tell that I was back to updating this site, without remembering I wrote an article? Oh, by the seventeen spam comments I get an hour. What the hell? Actually, scratch that, I totally agree with the people spamming the filtered comments. I mean, who hasn’t visited a bi-monthly updated pseudo blog by an amateur writer at a tech school and hasn’t wanted to enlarge their penis at a casino while Asian teens watched on a webcam? Makes perfect sense. Christ.

As much as I hate the rapping industry (Indsutry? What, are they producing cars or something? Someone’s got to pick up GM’s slack and it doesn’t take much nowadays.) I occasionally enjoy a few songs (see: Welcome to Detroit City) and here is another one from T.I.’s upcoming album Paper Trail, featuring Jay-Z, Kayne West and Lil’ Wayne. Yea, you heard (or is it read?) me right. Swagger Like Us.  The track leaked early, as the album isn’t due out until the end of this month. Probably why no one has heard of it yet.

Only three more weeks until the Fall Career Fair up here at school.  You know, that time where I have to find a real job, at a real company, with real people. Wonderful, can’t wait until I get to decide what cubicle I get to sit in for the next five years. Ooooo, so many choices, but please just let it be in an office filled with middle-aged white men with senses of humor rivaling cadavers! Remind me again why I chose Electrical Engineering? Oh, that’s right, because I hate myself. How could I forget? Over-under on number of times I cry interview week: 7.5. A modest line, I know, but I’d take the over now before Vegas up’s it.

Potential Employed: Adam, we were really impressed with your interview skills and feel you are qualified for a position with our company, but we couldn’t help but notice the amount of crying you were doing. Will this be a problem in the working environment?

Adam: I won’t make any promises.

However, the safe money is still on me resisting change and returning to the factory in Wisconsin. How do you make Wisconsin even worse? (non-sense, not possible!) Spending nine hours a day in a factory as a salaried person, opposed to the eight hours an intern has to work.

I swear, if iTunes asks me to update it one more time, I will play Rambo to Apple’s police force led by Brian Dennehy. (You’re gonna kill Apple employees in a forest neighboring a small town? Huh?) Yea, I went to the eighties for that reference, deal with it.

One would think that after having stomach pains from a weekend of sitting around watching football while drinking beer, eating too many nachos and casings stuffed with ground up animal parts would make a man change a few things in his life. One would think.

OMG, I am so totally back to writing, even though the first half of this sentence shouldn’t count as writing. At the time of typing this piece, I am approaching seven weeks without a reliable internet connection. Charter Communications told us that our cable would be turned on within seven days, but probably sooner. Yep, consider that deadline up and passed. So, clearly, what they meant to say was “Sending a man out to your house with a pair of pliers and ladder to complete 30 seconds worth of work is going to take us at least twelve days to accomplish because we hate college students.” There’s nothing like questioning your sanity after driving ten minutes to check your email. At least gas dropped ten cents a gallon recently, to an affordable $34.52 a gallon. At that price, I can afford to drive to campus twice a day.

For those who have been holding out hope for a site update from me these past two months, well, here it is. But Adam, your computer wasn’t broken, why couldn’t you just write at home and then post them on campus? Well, excuse me overly-critical voice in my head, but I’ve been busy. Those 37 DVD’s I’ve watched in the past two weeks weren’t going to watch themselves. Want to see how much will power you have? Disconnect your television and internet and see how many movies you can watch at school in two weeks before you break down and begin crying in the fetal position next to a static spewing television channel. My record was eighteen. Take that FCC. The sad thing is, you don’t know if I’m joking or not.

On the fringe of finally obtaining a stable internet connection for the first time in over six weeks (that’s right, SIX WHOLE weeks) a lot has happened. So, I would like to take the time to share with you what I have learned in the past month and a half. I really have no idea whether the serious thoughts are because of the lack of communication I have had, but let’s just say without an internet connection, you have lots and lots of down time to think and ponder important things, like, what is the meaning of life or how many times did I go to Wal-Mart today? So, without further ado, what I have learned or pondered over these past six weeks:

• If you post a fake “Help Wanted” sign in the front window of your college house, be prepared to get serious inquiries from questionable locals snooping around your neighbor’s front yard.
• I can ride my bike with no handlebars… no handlebars… no handlebars. Okay, so I haven’t ridden on a pedal bike in, like, six years, but a boy can dream, can’t he? In all seriousness, I am fan of that song, even if it pulls a M. Night Shyamalanesque twist and transforms into a song bashing American decision making. We get it, you hate President Bush… so does everyone else. Grow up and talk about guns and hookers like the rest of us. Though any song that ends with the lead singer declaring “And I can end the planet in a Holocaust” gets a check plus from me. Not sure why though…
• Speaking of songs: I am obsessed with “Welcome to Detroit City” even though I’ve never been there. Someone please explain this…
• A message for the kids: Don’t choose a field of study strictly because of money… you WILL regret it at some point. Trust me.
• Using a KFC bathroom may be the most unpleasant experience in this world. Is it possible to wrap your entire body in toilet paper instead of just the toilet seat? I’m talking two-ply.
• I am the single most indecisive person ever. Ever.
• Why does our house still smell like bacon? We cooked it last week.
• Always have someone around that challenges you, no matter who it is. Criticism helps you grow.
• If you have little experience swimming in a lake, don’t try to swim out to what appears to be a nearby sandbar. You’ll probably get half way out, panic, realize it’s farther away then you imagined and decide you’ve gone too far to turn around. Plus, when you finally make it out there, panting like a fat kid running a marathon, it’s probably just going to be a collection of mud and weeds that feel s like a giant bowl of old spaghetti and not a sandbar. Plus, it sure would be embarrassing to nearly drown in front of a bunch of high school kids. Not that anything like that happened to me or anything. Note to self: start working out again.
• Another message for the kids: If your degree plan calls for four years of school, turn it into a five year plan and enjoy your lighter schedule. There’s no point in rushing. Money isn’t everything, your sanity is. You’ll thank me later.
• After years of for some reason hoping to have the mindset of post-counseling Peter from Office Space, I think I finally obtained it. Not sure whether to be happy or sad about that.
• If you go nearly two weeks without eating fast food and then randomly decide to purchase a combo meal from KFC at 9pm on a Tuesday night, your body WILL reject the entire thing, faster AND harder than the American public in regards to John McCain’s VP choice.

• What?! Political humor?! Yea, that just happened.
• Is it possible to lack experience in every facet of life? Because I think I might have that…
• If the place you interview at states that they pump white noise through the air ducts to drown out background noise, you may want to stay away from them. Just a suggestion.
• Totino’s pizza rolls and Rainbow Keebler cookies does not constitute a meal and will probably cause you sleeping problems that night.

• I really went to Wal-Mart three times today, didn’t I?

I’ve just been without internet for a week and probably won’t get it back for at least another week. Stay tuned…

College Humor stealing my thunder again:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1823766

So, the other day at work, my boss at the Windowless Factory in Wisconsin showed me a label that we place on some of the units we produce. Now, this sticker is placed in an important area and can easily be spotted by any person trying to get a better look at our product. When you think of the message a multi-billion dollar company would want to display for potential and future customers, you think professionalism, you think crisp, clear designs, you think Comic Sans… Wait, what? Comic Sans? Really? Was Wing Dings busy? Wow, I’ve heard of bad decisions, but how does that one slip through? I can only hope the individual was drunk. In fact, I can’t even imagine the thought process of the person that decided on Comic Sans as a font of choice. But, I can assure you they have one hell of coloring book collection. Because if you’re a working adult and your font pull-down menu ever stops, and I mean EVER stops on Comic Sans, chances are you’re going home to color. Spare me the sob stories, as I can hear the critics now:

But Adam, it’s just a font, who cares? Life is too short to worry about font faces.

No, that’s commie talk. Next thing you’ll tell me is that Stalin was just misunderstood. It’s thinking like that which leads people to believe having orange text over a purple background in emails and typing in ALL CAPS are acceptable formats. For God’s sake, the sheer stupidity of this font has led analysts to overbid crude oil, as well as being the deciding factor in the construction of the Berlin Wall. Any history book will tell you that the West Germans loved Comic Sans, while the East Germans loathed the type. We thought we rid the world of Comic Sans in the early nineties when the Wall came down, but Ukrainian scientists just had to keep traces of the font alive.

Seriously, there are only three types of people that should be allowed to ever use Comic Sans and get away with it:

- Graphic design artist for Bozo’s Super Sunday (too soon?)

- 15 year old girl editing her school’s yearbook

- Vin Diesel

Anything short of that is unacceptable. Did you see the drop in oil prices today? It’s no coincidence that 3,000 MIT students simultaneously deleted Comic Sans from their hard drive this morning. So, please America, do me a favor, hell, do crude oil prices a favor and delete Comic Sans from your computer’s hard drive. I mean, Barack Obama did it, will you be next? Or are YOU a Red?

Who wrote the Bible again… Stephen King or Tom Clancy?  I always forget.

I ate at three unique pizza buffets last week. Only three more meals on my punch card until I get a free heart attack.

So I get it… Adam’s life sucks. Whose doesn’t nowadays? Gas prices are hateful, people are dying for a war that we have no business in, and some say the world is ending with all this bad weather. The problem is we focus on the things that suck instead of the opportunities “the suck” offer us.

With Gas prices being so bad, go buy a bike and ride it to that grocery store less then 2 miles from your house. Yes, I know that basket on the front makes you look like a dork but hey who is saving the planet and looking good in his swim suit? When you get to the store, make sure you ask for paper and not plastic, and buy green products when available. As for the war? Well it has to happen, it is foretold in the bible that the middle east will go through turmoil and then be at peace before the Lord comes again. God promised that land to the Israelite’s and so they shall have it. To me the war is a reminder of the war in our selves between God and the Devil. We live our lives like we are in La-La land. Wake up people, we are at war everyday for our souls. I know what you are saying, great another Jesus freak. Well, your right, I am but you are missing the point. The point is that God gives us signs to come back to him, he warns us repeatedly over and over to come back to him because he loves us and he doesn’t want to see us hurting or unhappy. Last thought: Heed his warnings.

As for Adam, well if he would wake up and design web pages for a living, he would see how unhappy people are with their current companies and might want some smart kid with design in his BONES to help them out. And he could make about 2k to 3k per web page doing it.

Hmm..just renewed the head-trip.org domain…yay two more years of us!